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Felix Gaeta ([personal profile] scanninggaydis) wrote2016-06-01 11:55 pm
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Drift Fleet Application

Character name: Felix Gaeta
Character journal: [personal profile] scanninggaydis
Series name: Battlestar Galactica
Canon notes: Felix is coming in with previous game experience from one game (CFUD)

Species: Human (100% human, thanks)

History: The Canon Stuff

Game Experience: So then, instead of plain old dying like a normal person would, Felix found himself sucked into an interdimensional prison camp. Sorry. Summer camp. A summer camp with zombies. For the most part, this experience was...largely more mundane and day-to-day than you would expect, with some exceptions. The important points of his in-game history are as follows:

  • Meeting Alvis E. Hamilton, and eventually becoming one of her (many) adopted guardians.

  • Becoming friends with Harley Quinn, and then becoming suspicious of her.

  • Accidentally letting it slip that he just wants to go back to being dead, and having the person he was talking to inform him that they weren’t going to waste their time on him.

  • Meeting and becoming friends with Eugene Woods and Cosima Niehaus.

  • A red-string event where he was one of three people attached to Harley Quinn. This both introduced him to Harley’s fiancee-then-boyfriend (Juan), which developed into one of his more significant relationships in game, and also led to his first death in-game.

  • The time that he shot Juan in the shoulder because Juan wouldn’t stop being overly aggressive and threatening.

  • Learning how to be Alvis ‘navigator’ in the two-person aircraft she built, becoming her in-Camp navigator.

  • The arrival of Alison, Cosima’s sister/clone, which they explained away as being long-lost twins.

  • Having a game effect reopen his leg wound, and encountering Juan, who was also under the same effect. Juan effectively saved him from bleeding out, but then basically attempted suicide (to use the game’s post-death revival mechanics to fully heal the wounds). He eventually allowed Felix to get help, but then got into an argument with him about it, and offended Felix by telling him he should understand why Juan chose that route. (Because not doing it would leave him disabled, like Felix.)

  • The arrival of Sarah, Alison and Cosima’s other clone, and Felix freaking out based on his history with clone (robots) in canon. It basically almost destroyed his two of his three key positive relationships in-game, but he actually stepped back from the brink and apologized. This event is probably the most important thing that happened to him.

  • Getting tortured and killed by a friend of his (under a game effect) and actually having his life saved by Juan.

  • Kind of forgiving Juan, admitting that he had reacted too harshly to Harley.

  • Having someone from his canon show up, which also lead to his friends finally finding out why/how he died, something he hadn’t told...anyone.

  • Making the conscious decision to (try) to go back to Alvis’ world when the game ended/everyone was kicked out of Camp.

  • Personality:
    “He led us to the apocalypse, and…and I...I turned out to be…”

    An idealist. There’s no sin in being one, at least that’s what Felix has been told, but he’s beginning to think that it isn’t the truth. Who Felix Gaeta is and who Felix Gaeta used to be are very different things, and it’s that difference that is important to his character now.

    At the beginning of Felix’s character arc, we encounter a highly intelligent, young, earnest man. A man very much invested in doing his duty, to the very best of his ability. He is polite, friendly, and very professional. He is also a little awkward, and clearly wants to put his best foot forward in front of the people he respects (almost every time he talks to a superior, he uses far more filler words than when he is seen interacting with officers of an equal or lower rank), though he can and does behave in a much more relaxed manner around his peers. What’s even more impressive is that Felix continues to behave this way even in the face of an event that nearly wipes out the whole of humanity. In the face of this terrible, life-altering catastrophe, he still believes in doing the right thing, that people will do the right thing, the right way.

    Felix’s most important character trait - and chief flaw - is that he sees the world as he wishes and expects it to be, not the way it really is. Because he believes in doing the right thing, he seems to think that everyone around him will operate in the same way. This is, of course, not the case at all, and it’s this trait that leads Felix to change in the aftermath of the attacks.

    Another (related) important character trait and flaw combined: Felix is incredibly trusting, or at least he used to be (and it’s not actually gone, even now, just a bit more deeply buried). The most obvious example of that is the way that he trusts (Dr.) Gaius Baltar. Felix being who he is – someone who respects authority, and also perhaps just a tiny bit of a science nerd – immediately takes to Baltar when he is brought aboard Galactica to devise a Cylon-detection device. After all, Baltar is arguably the most brilliant scientific mind of the times, and Felix gets to work with him. It’s any science nerd’s dream. And Baltar is handsome and charming to boot. Baltar is also self-serving and incredibly adept at self-preservation, neither of which qualities Felix immediately recognizes. He is the only one who believes in Baltar when Baltar is accused (with pretty damning evidence) of aiding the Cylon’s attack, stating that he “just knew that Baltar couldn’t have had anything to do with the attack, that he isn’t that kind of man”. Later, he prevents an election fraud that would have robbed Baltar of a presidency. Neither of these things are actually the wrong thing to do, of course. They’re right, at least strictly, morally, the way that Felix sees things. But where other people in the Fleet have clearly seen Baltar as the wrong man for the job and are willing to undertake some shady dealings to achieve the right end, Felix doesn’t. Felix believes, believes in Baltar and believes that the ends don’t justify the means. Felix is an idealist.

    Not after New Caprica, or not quite as much. The Felix that goes down to the surface of that planet and the Felix that comes back up are markedly different people. It’s not actually surprising, given the Cylon occupation, and watching the man you believed in so whole-heartedly do…absolutely nothing in the face of it, except drink and take pills and sleep around. (Especially a man that you loved, which Felix clearly does.) Even in dire circumstances, though, Felix still tries to do the right thing. He uses his position within the occupied government – that is, as Baltar’s Chief of Staff – to pass along important information to the resistance movement that crops up. Given how dangerous this effort is, however, he never has direct contact with any of the Resistance members, to protect both sides of the arrangement. The one other thing that he does while on the surface of New Caprica which speaks to how he hasn’t entirely lost his capacity for trust, his sometimes terrible capacity for trust, is his other attempt resistance. Only this time, it isn’t in collaboration with the human resistance movement. It’s in collaboration with a Cylon, one who promises to free prisoners in the Cylon detention center if he will give her the names. He does, because he believes (he believed), even as the Cylons occupy the planet, even after the destruction of the Colonies, that there is the capacity for goodness on an individual level. Even among his enemies.

    It’s at least in part to Felix’s efforts that those trapped on New Caprica are eventually rescued, so it’s especially unfortunate that the anonymity that subterfuge requires insured that absolutely no one actually knows how much he contributed to the rescue efforts. Really unfortunate, as it turns out, since his particularly public position as Baltar’s “right hand man” means that no one who was down on the planet is particularly fond of him once they’re rescued. It’s also unfortunate that some of those people are his former coworkers, even one of his former superior officers. It’s a terrible thing, to realize that you don’t have a home anymore, even in the last place you could possibly claim as home. Other former members of the military are evidently quickly allowed to re-enlist, since they are seen back in their uniforms, but Felix is not. It’s not clear whether this is a choice on his part – he certainly seems uncomfortable enough stepping into his former workplace, the Combat Information Center, that perhaps he was reluctant to re-enlist – or whether he has been actively denied the permission to do so because of his perceived status as a collaborator. It doesn’t actually make that much difference either way, though. Either way, Felix is alienated from everything that is familiar to him, which is a pretty potently terrible feeling when you’ve already lost so much. He continues to be berated by (former) fellow officers, which certainly doesn’t help matters. This really only serves to make him feel as if Galactica, that refuge for everyone else who made it off New Caprica, isn’t the safe place it used to be. And honestly, it isn’t. It turns out there is a government-sanctioned secret jury running around and executing “the worst of the worst” collaborators from New Caprica, and Felix just barely survives being sentenced by them. Of the six people on this jury, three of them are crew members on Galactica. One of them is the Executive Officer of the ship. At this point, Felix almost gives up. Why bother even defending himself, it’s not like anyone wants to take his side, it’s not like anyone even wants to listen. He’s only saved because one of the jury members – to whom he HAD tried to explain previously, explicitly stating what he had done for the resistance – orders him to beg for his life and repeats his arguments, at which point one of the other jury members (the one who was picking up the information) recognizes that not only is Felix not guilty, but that he’s really a hero. But it’s too little, a bit too late for Felix’s worldview, just another chink in his trust of others. He’s allowed to (or decides) to put the uniform back on, but it’s not the same and won’t ever be the same again.

    You would think things couldn’t possibly get worse for Felix from that point out, that he could get even more jaded, but Battlestar Galactica is a show designed to repeatedly stamp on your heart, so it does. Things just keep happening that tear Felix’s world view apart bit by bit.. He’s shot in the leg by a fellow soldier, and doesn’t receive medical attention in time due to a conscious decision by someone he considered a friend. (To be fair, the friend had legitimate reasons, but it’s hard to stay fair when that delay causes you to lose your leg below the knee.) His best friend kills herself out of despair. (Because the planet they’ve all been searching for for years turns out to be a nuclear wasteland and, oh yeah, Felix lost his leg on the mission that lead to actually finding it.) Remember that time that Felix collaborated with a Cylon to save people on New Caprica? Well, in a traumatizing 20 hours, he gets stuck on a stranded shuttle with her, she kills everyone but him and herself in a bid to survive longer, and then she tells him that he actually helped kill the people he thought he was saving. So there’s that. There’s another nail in the coffin of Felix’s trust, in his perception that there’s any good or fairness in the world. This is also where Felix’s (somewhat well earned) xenophobia finally sets in. It’s safe to say that by this point, Felix is pretty fucked up.

    And then! Then there’s the mutiny. The mutiny that Felix leads. Felix, who started the show off as someone who would only break protocol under extreme duress, who believed in the right order of things, the right way to do things. Except, when your military leader, the man you’ve looked up to for years, says “we’re going to collaborate with the Cylons because we need their help and no, this decision isn’t negotiable”, when two of the people who tried to kill you once (for charges of collaborating with the Cylons) have actually turned out to BE Cylons, when you’ve recently decided that no Cylons can be trusted ever...sometimes you make drastic choices. Which is what Felix does. ( actually kind of betrayed yet again, by his co-leader in the mutiny, who kills some civilians unnecessarily because he’s much more ruthless than Felix. Which is more blood on Felix’s hands, by association.) And he almost, almost goes through with taking over the whole fleet. He actually does give the order for his commanding officer to be executed. But when things start unraveling for the mutiny, when Felix has the choice to either needlessly kill more people in a frantic attempt at keeping power, or give up, he chooses to stop. Even though ending the mutiny certainly meant being executed for treason. Which he was. Because he may have a seriously altered worldview, may be more than slightly damaged, but at heart, Felix is still a good person. Even the mutiny itself is Felix trying to do what he thinks is the right thing for himself and others. He seriously believes, based on his experience, that trusting the Cylons means that they will be betrayed, and if the Fleet’s leaders insist on trusting them, then they need to be removed from power, for the good of everyone.

    Coming into the game, Felix heavily reflected the conditions that lead up to his death. He was sarcastic, xenophobic, and slow to trust. He also heavily resented being there at all, since death was honestly a relief for him after all the loss, pain, and betrayal he suffered. For the first several months he was very reluctant to even make friends at all...though one of his most important relationships did start out within the first two months. His viewpoint was that he wasn’t going to treat this like a second chance, because eventually it was going to end and he was going to go back to being dead, which was all he wanted. Therefore, making significant connections was pointless. Also, if he chose to make significant connections it would mean that he didn’t mind being forced back into kind-of living, which was not true.

    All this being said, most of the people he met were good people, and good for him, which has helped to slowly reverse his cynicism. Slowly. One of the first people he met was a young man who could do magic, something that he was incredibly untrusting of, considering his xenophobia. However, the young man helped him time and time again, which slowly helped him to start to rethink his position on people with extra/supernatural abilities.

    Then he met a very young, very smart, very sweet young girl named Alvis (that most important relationship). She managed to hit the perfect sweet spot between too young not to trust and being incredibly smart for her age, two things that sort of wormed their way under Felix’s skin in terms of caring about her. Her influence over the course of three years has definitely been instrumental in mellowing him out and easing him back into relationships. At some point, he basically became her unofficial guardian, she became part of his family (his only family), and he would do anything to protect her.

    However, the person that most facilitated Felix’s start at recovery was Eugene. This is largely because their circumstances and attitudes are remarkably similar. Both of them lean towards dry humor and sarcasm, they both come from a post-apocalyptic world, and they had both had one of their legs amputated. One of the things that really affected Felix towards the end of his canon experience was a sense that no one really understood him, was listening to him, or truly cared about his struggles and yet with Eugene he found someone he could relate to almost perfectly. It helped that when he died in Camp for the first time Eugene was the one who found him upon revival, and that (even though they barely knew each other) Eugene expressed concern for him, and distress. Eugene was the first (adult) person that Felix chose to trust, and the first person he willingly called a friend. (He’s also been helpful in Felix starting to get over the trauma of losing his leg, since Eugene is much more stable about the situation.)

    Eugene is also the prime reason why Felix has seriously started rethinking his xenophobia. (Robots are still not okay though.) In addition to Felix and Cosima being friends - the second person he's given that distinction to - Cosima and Eugene were also friends. When her third clone turned up in the game Felix started to get suspicious, and was incredibly rude to both Cosima and to Eugene when he tried to defend her. For about three days, Felix considered cutting contact with them completely, but Eugene’s importance to him as a friend (and Cosima’s to a smaller extent) made him decide that the chance that Cosima and her sisters could be dangerous wasn't a good enough reason to lose the friendship of someone he cared about that deeply. He made a promise to Eugene in the aftermath about not making snap judgements about people, and that's something he's been trying very hard to adhere to.

    Surprisingly, though a number of unfortunate and even traumatic things have happened to Felix during his time in Camp, there has been very little that has further worsened his trust issues. That being said, he still has so many strides to make. Almost everything his friends learned about his past, they learned through Camp effects. For example, he never told anyone he was dead, initially because he thought it was too personal, and later because...well. Honestly because he wanted to present himself as more “normal” to the few people he had actually made connections with. And although he trusted Eugene (still trusts, except that he's since been able to go home), he actively lied or lied by omission about a number of things, including his intention to choose to go home when he leaves Camp, instead of choosing a new place to go. Which, of course, would mean that he goes back to being dead. Especially with Eugene, he lied to protect the feeling that Eugene understood him, something he was very reluctant to give up. (However, they had at least one discussion where Eugene called him on that and they talked about it. It doesn’t mean he’s never going to try it in the future, but he might be incrementally less likely to pull it with the next person he really attaches to.) He’s still going to use sarcasm like it’s going out of style, and will be slower to form meaningful connections with people. He’ll still probably dance around his myriad issues and insist he’s fine when he’s not.

    But he’s starting to improve. At the very least, when push came to shove, he decided to start a new life by choosing to leave Camp with Alvis. Sure, it was mostly because he couldn’t deal with her knowing he was lying to her, which is not exactly the same as being okay with taking a second stab at life. But it’s an improvement.

    Abilities: Military-level combat and firearm knowledge; very proficient in science (genetics specifically), math, and computer science, some knowledge of engineering; training in piloting small spacecraft
    Augment Skillset: Pilot

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